she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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