Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
