You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
