I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
