i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
