Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
