she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
