My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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