My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
