i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
