We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
