Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
