Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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