just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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