these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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