Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
