look no pants
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
