so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
