So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
