Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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