I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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