I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
