we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
