I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
