I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
