Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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