STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
