what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
