i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
