Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
its not stalking. its research.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
