dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So much rum. So many feels.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
