I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
