i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
