Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
