Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
