there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
