sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
