Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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