Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You pole danced in your parka.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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