the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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