I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
