So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
