I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
