Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
