Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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