he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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