Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
