Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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