And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
