I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
